Miriam's Poems 🫶🏼

Depression doesn't just mean that you are sad, 
The main way to describe depression is feeling like your whole life is a mess. 
A voice in your head constantly shouting mean things to you, 
So you just sit there and let it happen because there's nothing you can do. 
As it continues to occur you begin to believe that all those things the voices are saying are true. Every single day is spent with constant pain and suffering, 
Awaiting comfort that only silence can bring. 
Never knowing whether you are feeling sad or mad, you just kind of feel numb, 
But you patiently wait but happiness never comes. 
Always trying to do what's right but no matter how hard you try, everything you do is wrong, 
Finding it so hard to be positive or strong. 
Feeling a constant fear because you feel like others you look dumb, 
Feeling ashamed of the person you have become. 
With no intention of doing so, you slowly push your loved ones away, 
It's not something you want but you carry that guilt day by day. 
Wanting to be good enough for the people you love but nothing is working and you keep letting them down, 
That is when you enter the stage of constant self-doubt. Depression itself constantly reminds you that no matter what you try to do to improve yourself, You will always fail, It's difficult to describe this struggle with such little detail. 
No one see's the pain that you feel inside, 
No one ever believes you or understands so you decide to not waste your time and to just hide. 
You then begin to question your existence, 
The more the pain the more distance. 
You lose hope and realize that nothing will bring an end to this suffering, 
You sleep never knowing what the next day will bring. 
Wanting to love and to be loved but ending up being disappointed, 
With all the heartbreaks and a pain you stop trying to look for happiness because you feel like it's pointless. 
Often questioning yourself to find some meaning and finding nothing, 
You have no control and all you think about is negative things. 
Always being in a dark room and not having a way out, 
No one seems to hear you no matter how hard you shout. 
It feels like you are drowning but no one can see it, and the ones that do see it shout, "Just swim", 
People seem to judge you but they don't seem to understand the pain you are constantly in. 

Miriam Lopez🤗